Distracted by Anger

It’s all in the past now. The emotions are gone, but the memories are here to stay for a opportunity.

Without getting into too much detail, one of my buddies disagreed with a decision I made. The phone started very friendly and then I let him know about a recent decision I made with my girlfriend. The remainder of the phone call was a very negative, callous, and judgemental rant that I had to listen to. I felt like hanging up but thought that would have been too rude. Go figure.

After I had enough I let him know how his words affected me. He apologized and I don’t think he really meant it.

I went to bed with emotions. Anger, sadness, confusion, and overall just a bad night. The worst part is that it affected my morning. I called my girlfriend and let her know how I felt. She is currently on vacation in Paris and she had nachos delivered to me. That’s the type of girlfriend she is. She’s great!

However, I still couldn’t shake the conversation I had with my friend. My recovery was coming along well, but my moods were all over the place. My confidence was shot, and I didn’t feel happy.

I decided to text some friends of ours. That was it. That’s all it took.

Fast forward to a few hours later, I’m hanging out with them and doing some voiceover work for a friend of theirs. It’s a long story so I won’t get into it.

Now, I’m here typing this up and realizing how my mood has completely flipped. My thoughts heavily focused on a previous conversation that it affected me right up until I was distracted enough to gain a new perspective:

Everything is okay, and I’m still happy. Opinions are opinions and nothing more.

Bachelor’s Week

My lovely girlfriend is in Paris, which means that I have the whole house and an entire week to myself. This is good news because without my girlfriend my life is pretty dull. Why is it good news? I’ve been made aware that I’ve taken my girlfriend for granted. Life is fantastic with her!

There’s not much to look forward to for a weekend. Time off of work, watch a few UFC fights, and going for long walks is usually what I do, but doing that and then coming home to an empty house feels lonesome.

Sure, the first few hours were refreshing, but interestingly enough, work was pretty stressful the day she left. Immediately I wanted to express my feelings to someone. She wasn’t there to hear anything I had to say. I instantly wanted her back. My best friend wasn’t there.

As a self-described introvert, I only need one person to be content with my life. Sporadic meetups and game nights are fulfilling as well, but just to maintain happiness, I only need one.

The weekend is around the corner and I have no idea what I’m going to do. Hanging out with anyone else simply doesn’t interest me, and being around people just to be around people is a nice way to instantly be annoyed. I’ll have to treat myself to a nice dinner, force myself to be somewhere with energy, and I’ll hope that excitement finds me.

Another maintenance post. Moving on.

Corporate Meetings

I used to make fun of the culture, well actually, I still do. Back then, I was never involved in corporate culture as I only worked in the trenches of customer service.

Memes mocking miniscule interactions or little catchphrases that you hear around an office are absolutely accurate! “Let’s circle back…” or “Let’s touch base…”. Who talks like this in real life? Why are we talking like this?

Writing in fancy code because I can

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Moving on.

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As much as the authenticity is removed from the office, I will say that I really appreciate it. Currently, I’ve recently been promoted and the imposter syndrome is real. Almost quite literally, I have close to zero idea of what I am doing. I mean, I’m dealing with grown-ups. &nbsp &nbsp

But Corporate Culture Sucks

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Yes, it’s bland, boring, repetitive, non-exciting, etc.. Although, you know what? I fucking absolutely love this type of environment because I have absolutely no idea what I am doing. If I have a question I can simply ask and any judgment is not vocalized, no one makes fun of me, and everybody thanks me for asking the question. This stale environment is perfect for me to learn.

Again, another maintenance post, although I’ll fondly look back at this post and laugh at how clueless I USED to be. Meh, maybe it’s an inspirational post for future me.