An insane amount of interesting things occurred since my last post.
I didn’t write for an entire year, but I’ll list some of the high and low lights.
- I’m getting more confident in my job
- My chess club moved locations and I can confidently say I’m a part of the local chess community
- The relationship with my partner has strengthened and we’ve dabbled our toes in other things…
- I’ve decided to be more outgoing
- I purchased a new car
- Some sad stuff has happened with some of my family
As I’m writing my small, but concise list, I’m slowly realizing that not a lot actually happened, but each one of these items have taken up huge portions of the last year that have either caused me incredibly stressful or happy moments.
Oh, something that I haven’t mentioned either is that I am feeling like I’m now looking into the “older” part of my life. Currently, I am 30 years old and am having realizations, breakthroughs, and emotional connections that make me feel more secure exploring new ideas. That is, a lot of the beliefs, ideas, and negative thoughts that I used to have really molded me into a version of myself that was very limited.
With the emotional work that I have done, and along with the tremendous help of my partner, there’s excitement I feel tackling every ‘new’ experience with the ‘older’ version of myself. There is now this version of me that is more outgoing, calmer, and more understanding with new and old friends around me.
Noticeably, I am also really letting go of the past, younger life I had. Not in the sense of completely abandoning altogether, but it is now transitioning to be a moment in my life instead of my identity. A lot of my feeling when remembering the past was a sense of pride and identity. That may have been helpful when there was uncertainty in my decisions, but now I feel more confident with myself that makes me feel as though I do not have to anchor who I am with my past. Basically, I have made the realization that I can exist as my own without having to remember the past.
Young Man Daily 