Becoming an Adult (But Actually Becoming One)

10 years ago I turned 18.

I think I wrote my first blog post around that time and it was all about how unique and interesting I was.

I’m 28 years old and am realizing how idealistic my mentality was. I thought I was unique, interesting, silly, and in a very toxic way, thought I was better than everyone else.

My body feels different, and lack of sleep plays a bigger detrimental effect on my day. My lower back is giving me more problems. I’m not a fan of staying up as long as possible anymore, old hobbies don’t interest me as much, and I spend more time thinking about how to improve. On the other side of the spectrum, there have been huge wins.

Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

I’m way more financially stable, more goal-oriented, and even started school again. I’m thirsty for a career change and am embracing the adult-minded evolution.

In essence, I’m becoming “boring” which is a word I’ve really overused in the last few years of my life. I think I’m finding my stride and ultimately understanding who I am. Close friends, quality time with my girlfriend, financial stability, and a home.

Now that I have literally written out a list of my desires, I am mildly shocked that my life revolves around these four elements.

Switching topics, as I often do, I have to write down my update from my coding BootCamp. It’s so FUCKING hard. I can’t believe I’m doing this. Stressed nights, occupied weekends, a few tears shed. Javascript is absolutely kicking my ass but we’re finally moving on to the next topic.

Furthermore, my chess club is growing ever so slightly, but the community aspect of it is thriving. I wouldn’t say any of us are close friends, but the people that I’ve connected with have been willing to help with the coding stuff.

As a reminder to myself, I’m very capable of maintaining friends and developing close relationships. Of course, the road to actual connection is rocky and not always perfect, but I got it in me to be successful.

You’re kind of a dumb guy

Ah, yes. Either rich and sad or poor and happy. Or my favorite, mediocre in both. Typical 20-something year old is posting typical crap again. 

So I started this whole blog thing because I wanted to express myself. And not in the cheesy way, kind of thing. In the way that you need an escape from the regular nine to five, Monday-Friday, someone-better-save-me-or-I’m-putting-a-bullet-through-my-skull, kind of way.

I don’t even know where I left off from my last post.

Anyways, to recap, and fill you in to present day:

I graduated with a degree in Psychology and Political Science. Before you give me shit, Yes, my dad has given me shit. No, I don’t want to be a psychologist or talk to people and cure their problems. My problems are enough.

So next step as a graduate is to get a job.

See, the thing is, getting a job is a lot harder when you are comfortable. You don’t exactly see yourself in the electronics department selling TV’s to strangers and explaining why a regular person does not need 32GB and 5TB of storage, but in some way or the other, I fell in that situation.

After months of searching and wringing my tears from the bed sheets, I got a job. Whoo! My excitement went through the roof. Of course, it was a slow, deliberate process. After taking a test, receiving the interview, taking a test, waiting for the offer, taking a drug test, I got the job.

Poor excited me could not have put in my two weeks sooner.

Little did I know, I was going to miss the retail hours and come to terms that my death was going to be the monotony of office work.

“You’re exaggerating, dude”

Okay, fine. I am exaggerating. The “death of me” was that when I accepted the position I did not know that I got the exciting position for a call center. Yes, a call center. There are good reputations with a call center and terrible ones. I didn’t know! The job posting made it seem like you were going to be vital for this company. A crucial, important, role for someone competent like me! Oh, how wrong I was.

Now, I’ve never worked in a call center. And so far, it’s not the worst job in the world. My motivation is now in the hands of the future. That is, my goal is to climb up and eventually work at Google. God forbid I become comfortable again and fall into a cushy, disenchanting, dream-killing, retirement plan, health-insured, job that will consume my creative existence. I would need a shotgun for that bad boy.

“Really, dude. Google?! You know, only like the cream of the crop get in there. You’re kind of a dumb guy.”

So, that’s where I’m at. I now write in this blog every time I’m being consumed by the adult world. Adulting is hard and it sucks.

“You’re kind of being a little whiny bitch” 

-Thanks and fuck you.