Better Days Ahead

My last post was literally about not making enough money, and the feeling of always wanting more. It was all based around fear, and quite honestly, it still is.

However, just recently, I’ve been trying to be more proactive about my financial future and overall just make better financial decisions. The end result is that I’ve just felt better.

A sensation of calm, excitement, and a little day dreaming has left me feeling like my future is going to be awesome.

It’s rare that I think about the future. As a self-described over-thinker, thinking about my future plans, like buying a house or upgrading to a better gym, have never been at the forefront of my day-to-day through processes. The only thing that has changed is that I’ve slowly been informing myself about the financial world. Emphasis on slowly because I’m a terrible student. If you’ve been through the YouTube rabbit whole then you know.

I’m thankful that I’m no longer in a state of small panic. Now, there’s a little hesitancy about the future, but I feel good and am welcoming the challenge.

It was just a few years ago that I felt like a young boy, uninformed, lacking confidence, and lacking motivation. It’s hard to describe how I used to be. There are no other words but personified immaturity.

Since I started my new position those feelings have disappeared and I truly think leaving customer service and finding a role has helped me drastically, along with a nice increase in pay. Is it ironic that more money has made me feel better and more accomplished? Sure, but even without the increase in pay, I feel a more direct responsibility and ownership for what I do. It’s a great feeling.

Another nonsensical vomit of words. The end.

Chasing what?

I recently got out of customer service, and more importantly, I’m getting paid more as well. Irony.

I’ve been less financially restrictive and have more opportunities for investing, weekend getaways, and just spending more money. The interesting thing is that it’s left me desiring to be put in a position that will make me even more money. Why?

It’s almost as if it’s never enough money to begin with. I want more, I’m ashamed to say. I’m literally creating conversations and imagining scenarios that unfavorably compare me to other people my age. For example, I think about the faces and implied pity that people will give me if I tell them my salary. I would assume their reactions would be like “You should be making way more”.

If you haven’t guessed it by now, the desire to earn more money is only fueled by other people. Well, it’s mostly fueled by other people. Removing unnecessary variables I still think I would like to earn more money. But why?

I don’t really plan on buying anything big or expensive. Sure, let’s throw in a newer car, and probably a condo or home, but other than those ostensibly necessary things, what else? Financial freedom? Meh, just start saving a little more than you’re spending.

Is it to create a better future, or preparing for big financial expenses? It may very well be, but there’s no rush. I’m 27 years old, turning 28, and I think I am doing pretty well for my age, and think only better opportunities will come in the future. Better yet, the ultimate goal should be that I’m my own boss. Financial freedom is one thing, but to have almost complete freedom without having to clock in or out, or have someone “circling back” in a meeting, is almost worth having slightly less money.

As I’m writing these unpolished thoughts, I think I’m also forgetting to live more in the moment? The future will always be there, and I’ll meet up with it one day, financially safe, happy, and fulfilled. I have to enjoy the present and be mindful of the surroundings. I’m only 27.